


Slightly Inappropriate

by themediocrewriter



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Women, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drabble, Drinking to Cope, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Falling In Love, Gen, Haruno Sakura-centric, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hinata is just confused, Icha Icha Series, Inappropriate Humor, Ino knows everything, Kakashi is really trying, Minor Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Missions Gone Wrong, Naruto is Just Naruto, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Relationship(s), Running Away, Sakura can't catch a break, She annoys everyone out of love, Silly, Slice of Life, Sloooooooow Burn - Freeform, Slow Burn, Tenten goes with the flow, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, dangos, it takes a while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-01-10 20:13:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 18,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18415031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themediocrewriter/pseuds/themediocrewriter
Summary: A light series (that unintentionally turns into a story) following Sakura's daily misadventures as she deals with crazy friends, excessive drinking, boring missions, gossip mongering, and one annoying white haired shinobi.





	1. Money, Money, Money

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning chapters in this little fic are much shorter than later chapters and, in my opinion, a bit choppy. I hope that doesn't turn off any new readers, but just to let you all know they become much more fluid eventually as an actual story begins to develop. I didn't mean for that to happen, but sometimes that's just how things go. Sorry for all the grammar mistakes, but I'll slowly be going through them and trying to correct them as I post from my Felix02 fan fiction account. 
> 
> As for the story itself, I was/am writing about an older version of Sakura. She is a BAMF and a bit of a mess and I love her. It's fun to write. It's crack but serious crack? If that makes sense? Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy it!

**Slightly Inappropriate**

"Why do you take all these A-ranked missions?" Ino asked watching as Sakura downed her beer with a red mission scroll sticking out her shirt. She'd stuffed it down there earlier when she remembered that she left her pouch at work. Ino would have thought it impressive if she hadn't seen it a million times before - both the beer swilling and the numerous items Sakura's chest could hold. Things just lost there sparkle like that sometimes.

"Because I damn well can that's why," Sakura paused momentarily to finish her drink,"and I like money. Yeah, the money is pretty great."

"But you have no life." Ino pointed out taking a sip of her own drink.

"That's showbiz, baby." Sakura laughed while signaling the bartender for another drink. "My savings account is awesome too."


	2. Animal Attraction

"Kiba's a whore and an ass." Sakura mused aloud as she sluggishly drank from a dark bottle, her head resting against her hand. At least he'd bought them a round of drinks before his cock took over his brain and led him away to the other side of the bar where the women didn't know him. Or, as he whispered to her before he got up, greener pastures. Ugh. He was shameful, but that was probably why they got along so well now.

Tenten nodded sagely before looking over Sakura's shoulder to where said greener pastures lay. "Those ladies are so out of his league."

Sakura glanced back at Kiba and the slightly familiar looking woman he was practically drooling over, and it was weird for everybody. Not that she cared if her friends tried to shoot their shot or anything, but a tipsy Kiba was an awkward Kiba. It was embarrassing. Still, she was amused. Suddenly, it clicked. Sakura sat up straight and snapped her fingers. 

"Oh! I know that woman. Kind of. Not really, but word on the block is that she's a bitch," she glanced at Tenten with a knowing smirk. "It's only natural an Inuzuka would go after her. Ino is going to be pissed."

Tenten's eyebrow rose. "They're going out?" 

Sakura shot her a look, her mouth twisting at the corners, and the brown haired woman caught on. "Oh, right. Wrong word. Can I tell her?"

"Hell no, I'm going to tell her. You know how much fun I'm going to get out of that? My fun quota for the month is going to be taken care of in one night. One damn night! It's going to be a great."

"Wondeful," Tenten smiled leaning on her hand, "but I get to tell Sai."


	3. Ichiruka Experience

"For the zillionth time, Naruto, I don't care what the hell you're going to order, just do it already!"

Naruto's face soured. "Damn, Sakura, calm down. You're ruining the Ichiraku experience."

"It can only be called an experience when one doesn't experience it every damn day." Sakura shot back. She only ate ramen when drunk and was she drunk? No, this temple had been alcohol free for two days on orders from the hokage and it was grating on her. Tsunade called it a cleanse, but Sakura knew her shishou better. She was being punished for beating her at dice last week.

"I do go on missions, Sakura-chan, I'm not always here. I thought you'd be smart enough to know that." Naruto said laughing, enjoying his own company immensely.

"I need a drink."

Naruto passed her a glass. "Here's some water."

"Fuck me."

"Really?" Naruto voiced brightly.

"NO!"


	4. Tricking a Copy Nin

"Kakashi, I need a favor." Sakura said running along side the silver haired shinobi.

"No."

She frowned. "Don't be a douche, _sensei_ , and hear me out."

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask, his eye crinkling a little too nicely. "I stopped doing favors for you when you tricked me into taking your place on a mission with Gai."

"You have to admit that I was pretty damn clever," Sakura laughed and winked, "to trick the famous Copy-Nin himself."

Said shinobi didn't look very amused.

"Not even proud of me?" she pushed.

He sighed lowering his book and admitted, though painfully, "A little."

"Want to do me a favor?"

"I said no."


	5. Glorified Babysitter

Konohamaru stared at her with wide eyes. "You're our team leader?"

Little Konohamaru sounded shocked and upset. Well, she was too, dammit! They got a long well enough, but the kid was usually a bit of a stickler for the rules. Naruto did mention once that she confused and scared him. Hmm. Either way it wasn't her problem.

Sakura scratched the back of her neck and yawned, "I know, don't remind me how much this mission is going to suck – I'm nothing but a glorified babysitter here. "

"You know I'm twenty-four, right?"

Sakura's eye snapped open. "Eh, no kidding?"

He frowned.

"Damn, I'm getting old."

"You look it too." He snickered before he could stop himself and didn't remember anything after that.


	6. Roommates

"No, it wouldn't be a good idea to move in together."

Sai blinked. "Why?"

At Sakura's twitching face he knew something wasn't quite right, but he was confused. He read in a book friends moved in together to save money, but when he further explained that she was his friend and unmarried the woman grunted, "You'd cramp my style."

"But you have no style." Sai pointed out barely avoiding a chakra infused punch.

"Care to try again, Sai?" Sakura asked wickedly, her fingers twitching. Sai frowned. Try asking her to move in together again? But she just said no. Women were confusing creatures.

"Would you consider moving in with me?" He bowed politely. Sakura considered smacking him upside the head for a brief moment before an idea hit her.

"Hell no, but I have an idea." Sai cringed as she touched him on the shoulder gently, a bit too gently. "You know who you should ask?" 

He rose from his bow with a raised brow. "Who?"

"Ino." Ah, another scary woman, Sai thought as Sakura continued speaking. "Tell her you thought of her specifically because you know she loves male company."

"Why?"

"Because it will make her feel special." Sakura winked at Sai as she sent him off. "Good luck."

Now all she had to do was follow him and watch what happened. And to think she'd been bored thirty minutes ago.


	7. Relationship Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My crack-ish explanation of why Sakura acts out of character.

"When I was eighteen Tsunade sent me on a prolonged mission with Anko." Sakura explained before guzzling down her entire drink as if to make a point.

Hinata twiddled her thumbs more so in habit than anything else, her drink untouched. "Sakura, I didn't ask about that…"

Sakura slapped the table, her eyes half open and face red, as she accused, "Yes, Hinata, you did ask that!"

"Ano," she began but then stopped herself and looked at Sakura with a thoughtful, level gaze, "I asked what made you change from when we were teens."

"Bah, and I gave you my answer. Listen," Sakura whispered, "if you want to change go spend time with Anko. Don't give me that look – I know she is a complete bitch, but she grabs you by the balls and yanks you this way and that and by the time she's done you have a whole new perspective on life."

Hinata's lips twitched. "I don't have balls."

"Hell, Hinata, I'm not being literal!" Sakura scooted next to the woman, leaned in very close, and stared. Hinata started looked away.

"You've changed too since we were young," Sakura said with a lop-sided grin. "I like you the way you are. Don't worry, that idiot will come to his senses before you know it."

"How did you know?" The woman's surprise made her voice surprisingly firm.

Sakura shrugged. "It's been a while since Naruto's made a moronic mistake – it was only a matter of time. Plus, you look like shit. Again, try not to worry. Naruto is just scared shitless."

"Of what?"

"Of you," Sakura explained with a meaning jab. "Well, it would be more accurate to say of loosing you. Super cliche, right?"

"Oh," the woman whispered.

"Fuck that noise," Sakura growled standing up. "We should go beat him the hell up right fucking now. I will go first, sneak into his apartment, immobilize him, and then you can go all out on his dumb self. Come on!"

And with that Sakura dragged one Hyuga heiress out of her apartment.


	8. Perks

When she woke up Kakashi was sitting on the windowsill reading. "I heard from a small bird about what you did for Hinata."

"You mean an ink bird. Fucking, Sai! He's always in my business."

Kakashi's eye crinkled knowingly. "And it's highly unprofessional to fall asleep at work, Sakura."

Sakura was in fact in her office. Not that she had any clue as to how she had gotten there. She remembered dragging Hinata to Naruto's and then…nothing. Meh.

"I run this shit." That shit being the hospital, and it was explanation enough. It was still pretty embarrassing, not to mention unprofessional, but like hell she'd ever admit to it. If Tsunade got to drink to her heart's content in the tower then she was definitely allowed to sleep off a few (many) drinks at the hospital.

"Language, Sakura. You never cursed like this when you were younger."

"I also never kicked your ass when I was younger, but things have changed so who knows what would happen." Sakura punched her fist suggestively.

Kakashi held up one finger. "First, you're clearly hung over and smell like a few too many drinks." It was true. "Second, you're about ten years too young to beat me."

"And I think you're ten years too old to fight me. Wouldn't want you walking away with a slipped a disc, grandpa."

The white haired nin's eye narrowed. "Forty three is not old."

"Eh, you're right. It's ancient."


	9. Mothers and Daughters

"Sakura," her mother's worried voice was a bad omen. "You've changed so much."

"That's what happens when you become a badass."

"Honey – Wait, did you just curse?"

Oh, shit. "Uh…no?"

Her mother didn't seem too pleased, and by the time the happy mother-daughter reunion was finished Sakura was left wondering when her mother would resume traveling again.


	10. Paperwork

"Shishou, the paperwork?"

Tsunade furtively glanced at the mess of files and scrolls on her desk. "Sakura, it's Friday."

"You know being Hokage is a twenty-four seven type of gig, right?"

Tsunade leaned back in her chair with calculating eyes. "How about a drink on me?"

Sakura looked between the older woman and her paperwork on the desk. "You know I do believe Shizune can handle this."

"My thoughts exactly."


	11. Beside the Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a huge fan of this chapter, but I wrote it years ago and don't really feel like changing it too much. I hope y'all enjoy it a bit anyway.

"I'm sick of you two leaving me with all the paperwork." Sakura refrained from rolling her eyes knowing the woman would see it and that there would be hell to pay, and it wasn't like she wasn't used to the conversation. It always happened after she and Tsunade abandoned Shziune with work when they went out drinking...like last night for example. She did feel a little bit guilty over it but not enough to stop her from doing it again one day.

"Shizune, don't be so melodramatic." Sakura teased flipping through mission files unaware of the other woman's increasing ire.

"Why can't I ever go out drinking, huh? Why can't I have fun?"

Sakura stopped flipping through scrolls. "You don't like drinking." 

And she didn't. Shizune's lectures over the vices and evils of alcohol were well known in Konoha.

"That's beside the point!"

The flipping resumed. "Well, what do you want to do?" Making amends was necessary evil, especially in her life. What did that say about her? Thankfully those thoughts didn't make it far because of Shizune's answer.

"Crochet." The older woman's eyes practically glowed, Tonton oink-ed appreciatively, and Sakura tore the page she was currently flipping. There was a profound silence where the two women stared at the other blankly.

"Shizune, please tell me you have a little bit more excitement in your life."


	12. Dirty Vessels

"Sakura, I want a girlfriend."

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Sakura snapped irritably scrounging around the papers on her desk. Where the hell did she put…wait one fucking second. "Did you just say you wanted a girlfriend?"

Sai nodded. Fearing the worst she pointed towards him accusingly, "You're not asking me right?"

"Why, would you like the position?"

"No offense, Sai, but hell no."

The man sighed crossing his arms. "Can you help get me a girlfriend? I read in a book that friends, especially female friends, play the role of matchmakers." He pinned her with a his infamous smile. "You are my friend right, Sakura?"

Feeling like she was walking into a trap yet unable to stop herself Sakura nodded, and an even creepier Sai smile bloomed.

"Then you'll get me a girlfriend, right?"

It was hopeless. Sai was her teammate - smart, dependable, strong, but more importantly, he was stupid as fuck when it came to dealing with the real world. A girlfriend could be a good thing for him, but why did he have to come to her?

"Can I just buy you a prostitute?"

His expression turned into an odd mixture of mildly offended and frightened. "I will not place my penis in a dirty vessel."

Vessel? She had her work cut out for her, but some issues had to be addressed first. "Let's talk about your word choice first, dear Sai." 

Sakura smiled at his gulp.


	13. Payback

"Sai wants a girlfriend."

Kakashi blinked lazily. "Did he ask you?"

Sakura sighed laying down on the grassy field. "He asked if I was interested in the position."

"Position?" Kakashi laughed settling down next to her. "I wonder if I've been going about this dating business all wrong."

"You date?" Flipping back through her memories Sakura couldn't remember even one relationship of his. There was of course many rumors about his sexcapades but never any about a real girlfriend. Sakura filed the thought away.

"Why, you interested?"

If this was how she was getting ask out nowadays her life was officially over. "Fuck you."

Kakashi's eye crinkled in a smile. 

"Language, Sakura," he tsked.

She sat up and turned towards Kakashi with her hands out and blurted, "He asked me to get him a girlfriend. I mean I offered to buy him a prostitute being a good friend and all, but he freaked and told me that he wouldn't place his penis into a dirty vessel."

"Smart man." Kakashi laughed though immediately stopped when she glared at him.

"He called a woman a vessel, Kakashi! I can't work with that." Kakashi shrugged opening his kunai pouch and reaching for Icha Icha Paradise. "You can try to help me, you know."

"You'll figure it out, Sakura."

"This is payback for me calling you old, isn't it?"

Kakashi crossed his arms behind his head. "You make me sound so vindictive."

"You are!" He merely smiled again. "Bastard."

"Good luck with, Sai." Kakashi offered genially. Sakura bit her tongue, prayed for patience, and hoped to God that Ino would be up for getting wasted in the afternoon. Be it trashy or not, this was an emergency and alcohol was definitely needed.


	14. That's Confidential

"But what woman in her right mind would go out with Sai?" Sakura complained as she gulped down her beer.

Ino crossed her arms over her ample bosom. "Hmm…that's a valid question."

"We need someone who is able to hold her own." Tenten advised.

"Someone who's...bossy." Hinata added gently.

"A woman with huge bazongas!" Anko snorted pulling out a seat and sitting down uninvited. Ino eyed the older woman wearily.

"Why do you say that?" Tenten asked curiously.

Hinata blushed. "What's a bazonga?"

"It's slang for breasts." Sakura explained to the quieter woman, grinning at Anko who sat with her legs open.

"Hooters, fun bags, puppies, milk wagons, globes, bijongas, chesticles, flapdoodles, chumbawumbas, dingleboppers, cantaloupes, gazongas, God's milk bottles, melons, nose warmers - "

"Enough! We get it, we get it!" Ino shouted. Anko shrugged. "Why does it matter?"

"Ino, I'm shocked you asked that."

"Want to take this outside, bitch?" Ino stood up slapping the table.

"Maybe later. Listen, that man-boy has got large breast fetish."

"And how do you know that, Anko?" Sakura asked stepping in as she watched Ino seethe. A smile tugged on her lips.

The older woman yawned picking at her cuticles. "That's confidential."

Anko and her chest were suddenly the center of attention.

"That certainly puts some things into perspective." Tenten muttered.


	15. Bar Hopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows Chapter 14.

"I don't know why you hang out with her, forehead." Ino complained as they left the bar, as if Anko wasn't right next to them, but Sakura was too disappointed to pay any attention to her at that moment. She hadn't been able to drink as much as she would have liked because Anko had to go insult the owner. They were kicked out soon after. 

Anko cackled bringing Sakura out of her drink-less musings. "Sounds like someone's got a girl crush."

Tenten smiled. "You two are funny."

"Don't you have to be somewhere?" Ino continued glaring at the fishnet covered kunoichi. "Torturing Gai, corrupting Kurenai's kid, categorizing your endless supply of fishnets?"

"I'm totally feeling the love," Sakura snorted shoving Hinata who wasn't used to the love-hate (mostly hate) relationship between Anko and Ino and was sporting a pair of slightly bewildered eyes.

"Nah, Kurenai's banished me from her household after I ordered porn on her TV. How was I supposed to know little Mirai was there?"

"You were babysitting for the weekend." Tenten pointed out.

"Mirai's like what – ten, fifteen? - "

"She's thirteen." Sakura corrected watching Ino's darkening expression.

"- point is the kid's old enough to take care of herself." Anko finished as if she hadn't been interrupted. "Oh! Look, Ino, a girl who looks looser than you. You should go say hi and have a hoe-off."

With that the dark haired woman pulled the blond across the street and into another bar.

"Whose up for another round of drinking?" Tenten asked following at a more sedate pace. Sakura smirked as she looked at the bar. It was pretty seedy, but then any bar called The Buck couldn't be anything else.

"Looks like my type of place." She punched her fist. "Let's get sick."

Hinata shook her head firmly. "I'm going home."

It was the smart choice in retrospect.


	16. Half Birthday Shots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows Chapter 15. :)

Sometime during the night Genma kissed Sakura. Or rather it would be more accurate to state that she kissed Genma. Taking it a step further it would be most accurate to say that the kiss was more like slobbery open-mouthed sucking motion.

"Why did I kiss you?" Sakura slurred and somewhat licked Genma's ear.

Genma, who was equally drunk, didn't notice his wet ear, and if he did he might have thought it was sexy as hell given his state of mind. "It's my half birthday, but don't tell Kakashi you kissed me."

"Birthday boy!" Sakura smiled and ignored the last comment in favor of reaching around him and picking up her shot glass. "Half birthday shots!"

"Half birthday shots," Anko shouted climbing over the bar and falling next to Sakura in her rush to get over. "Half birthday shots are doubles! It's the ruuule! Life or death."

"When the hell did you get here?" Genma blinked lazily letting go of Sakura who stumbled backwards as her knees gave out.

"When I sensed half birthday shots." Anko spun towards the bartender. "Hey, vodka double shots right here, right now. Double shot because one, we can and two, to hold you over till your real birthday." She added wobbling on her feet but managing to pull off an awe-inspiring air punch. "Let's do this, bitches!"

"Half birthday shots are the best." Genma hiccupped trying to high five the bartender who succeeded in ignoring him. "Whose half birthday is it?"

Sakura grinned slapping his back. "Cheers!" Genma faced planted onto the bar. "Oops."

Tenten stumbled onto the group. "Do we have to get half birthday presents?"

"You can kiss me. I'll even take my senbon out this time." Genma was quick to recover.

Tenten took her shot glass from Anko. "No, you slobbered over Sakura."

"Shots!" Anko cut into the conversation. "If you can't swallow it all, party foul. Ino shouldn't have a problem with that though."

Across the room they heard "What did you say, bitch?" but no one really cared. It was half birthday shots time.


	17. Pink's Pastry Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows Chapter 16. After this it goes back to random interactions.

Sakura yawned leaning over the wall, her body no longer able to support itself. "How did we get stuck with wall patrol?"

Tenten, ever chipper, especially when she was sober, laughed. "Don't remember?"

Sakura rubbed her head, the memory from last night gone, but the lingering headache was a painful reminder that something did indeed happen. "I should really stop drinking. Well, what did we do?"

Tenten blushed. "Come and ask me when you get the bill from Pink."

"The bookstore?" Sakura grumbled thinking about the place where Kakashi frequently bought his naughty yet deliciously interesting books.

"No, their twenty-four pastry shop."

Their pastry shop…Sakura blushed and looked out into the forest, her mind abuzz with all sorts of horrible, embarrassing scenarios. "Ugh, please don't tell me it involved a huge cake."

"It did."

"And were we in said cake?"

"Another genius idea of yours gone bad," Tenten laughed though she had been just as involved in the event as Sakura.

"And please don't tell me it was delivered to the wrong address."

Tenten nudged her. "You're a glutton for punishment, aren't you?"

"And who exactly were we delivered to?"

"We were supposed to go to Genma since you thought it would have been a wonderful half birthday present for him." That more than anything was a sure sign she had been plastered. "But somehow we ended up getting delivered to Ibiki."

Ugh! It was worst that she thought. Sakura wanted to retch.

"Luckily for us Ibiki found it hilarious and placed us here, in his words, 'to work off our hangovers'. What a cruel bastard. No wonder he heads T.I."

Sakura glared at the smiling woman. "You aren't mad?"

"Nah, it's always an adventure with you."


	18. Awkward Realizations

Sakura hung herself over a low rising wall and watched Kakashi read his book. He sat against the wall seemingly oblivious to the world, but Sakura knew better. Hatake Kakashi was never off guard unless (as this was a big if) he was suffering through really dreadful bowel movement issues because honestly who could stay focused on anything other than…

"Good afternoon, Sakura." He looked up and gave her one crinkle eyed smile, his face half in the sun and half in shadow, and for one insane moment everything faded except him. Her heart fluttered and her chest contracted tightly to the point of vague discomfort.

Kakashi's eye opened and he frowned. 

"Sakura, it's rude to ignore your ex-sensei." He teased, but she didn't hear him with all the buzzing in her head. What the hell was that? She did not just think Kakashi was handsome. No way! All that drinking last night might have severely altered her brain. She blamed Anko.

When she didn't answer in favor of continually staring at him awkwardly, Kakashi opted for another approach. "You seemed flushed. Are you well? I heard about your wild night. Hangover still bothering you?"

But Sakura still wasn't really listening to him, his words just weren't processing because she was caught in the middle of another mind crippling crisis. No doubt Kakashi was attractive, especially with that annoyingly mysterious mask on, but to actually think him handsome. Sakura did a mental head grab and shook. This was her ex-sensei. Sure they hadn't had that relationship in - Sakura thought and did a mental frown – almost over ten years, but there were some lines best left uncrossed.

Kakashi tapped her forehead. "Sakura?" Shit, she hadn't been starring had she? Kakashi smiled. She had, damn. "Maybe you should go back to bed."

"Did you hear about the cake?" Sakura ventured feeling her equilibrium returning and trying to play off her awkward staring with awkward conversation.

Besides, it was Kakashi. Kakashi! He was her friend in some hey-I-was-once-your-student-but-now-I'm-a-bad-ass-and-no-longer-your-student type of way. They had a history. They saved each other's lives every now and then, she tricked him into going on missions with Gai, he made her life a living hell at times, she hid his beloved plant across the village, and so on and so forth – history. So Kakashi was attractive - what was the big deal? A lot of men were attractive. That was life. It would only make her friendship with him more…

"What cake?"

…fun, right?


	19. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura keeps it real.

"Ah, I remember when I used to have dreams." Sakura sighed lying down on the hill.

"What do you have now?" Mirai asked playing with her new kunai.

"Alcohol." Then, after thinking about it, grimaced. "Don't tell your mom I said that."


	20. Dango Day Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanpo is a legit though very minor Naruto character. I believe he was the guy who took care of Neji after Naruto beat the crap out of him. I could be wrong about that, but I know for a fact that he does exist, he's around Kakashi's age, and he is a medic-nin.

It was dango day.

Dango days were special days in Sakura's book and they only happened three times a week. Monday and Wednesday had passed in dango bliss, but today – Friday – was a different story. There would be no sweet dangos today because the hospital was overbooked, her schedule packed, and because of that there were no breaks. Bathroom breaks were barely managed.

And so that's why Sakura was surprised when she walked into her office and smelled one of her favorite scents in the entire world. It was the end of the day, actually it was long past the end, it was the almost the beginning of Saturday, but there on her desk was a box of dangos from her favorite restaurant.

For a moment, Sakura just stared at the white box. There was no note, no indication of who brought it to her, and instead of being thankful and stuffing her face full with dangos she did the opposite.

"Kanpo," she screamed, "someone is trying to poison me!"

There was thud followed by her office door slamming open revealing a stressed out looking man, his hair messy and medic uniform crumbled as if he'd just been lying down. This was a big deal because Kanpo was leveled headed and neat in everything he did, but it had been a long day and he no doubt passed out somewhere for a half a second before she screamed. The man had been working longer hours than she had and that was saying something.

"What, what's wrong? Who's trying to poison you?" He asked looking around her office. Sakura pointed to the box. "They're dangos," was his stupefied realization.

"Yes," she had by now picked up the box and was shaking it. "It's a box of dangos, dangos that I love, dangos I was unable eat today but somehow ended up in my office."

Kanpo expression became slack. "Maybe someone was thinking about you?"

"Who would do that?" Sakura snorted opening the box and drooling on sight. "Well, I am at the hospital and if they are poisoned I would be fine…probably…" her voice slowly faded out, and Kanpo thought he was in the clear until she pinned him with an accusatory look. "Unless, you deposited the box here and poisoned them yourself in hopes that I would die so you could take over my position."

"You're kidding right?" He asked flatly. "I've been right beside you the whole day."

"A shinobi must always be aware of foul play." Sakura mused even as her hand descended into the box to pick up a dango stick. "Though deliciousness must not be ignored either."

"They'll go right to your thighs." Only Kanpo could deliver a killer line like that and not have her go ballistic. His tone was just too factual, and so instead of rampaging around her office Sakura sighed and pinched her stomach. She had been gaining a little bit of weight. "Besides, they're cold."

"Any type of dango is a good dango!" Sakura shouted back but didn't stop him as he took the box from her and placed it in the trash.

"You'll thank me later." Kanpo smiled. Sakura made a noise in between a snort and a growl. "Besides, you're right, they could have been poisoned."

"Now you're just making fun of me."

Kanpo laughed tiredly. "Perhaps."


	21. One-Upping

"Shino!" The tall, silent man pushed up his glasses, untouched by Sakura's boisterous voice.

"Haruno," he greeted in that ever silent way of his.

"I'm so glad I found you," Sakura huffed breathing heavily. "I've been looking around the whole freaking village. Where were you?"

"Around."

"Can you be any more vague?" Sakura shot back sarcastically.

"You were looking for me." He stated turning around so he could fully face the pink haired woman.

"I have a problem…a little-big problem." Shino raised an eyebrow. Sakura twiddled her thumbs, unsure of how to continue but thinking it best just to get it out and regret her decision later. So she went for it.

"Mind getting rid of some bedbugs for me?"

"That's not my job." He turned away from her and began walking away.

"Please, I'll do anything. ANYTHING!"

Shino paused dramatically. "…Anything?"

Sakura eyed him. "NOT THAT!"

Shino sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose thinking of their interactions over the years. "Why must you always assume I desire sexual favors from you?"

"Because I'm hot stuff." Sakura laughed at his non-expression. "Anyway, what you do want me to do?"

"Stop Kiba from pestering me for a week and I'll help you."

Sakura's face soured. "I think I'd rather sleep with you."

"Ah," he began, "but I'd rather not."


	22. Glasses Fetish

Sakura tapped her fingers on the table and waited. And waited.

And waited.

And then waited some more.

Then, for good measure, waited even longer until she reached boiling point. "Oh my God, Ino, get your ass out of there before I rot!"

"SHUT UP, Forehead! Who asked for your useless opinion?" The blonde roared from behind the curtain.

"You did!" The store clerks stared her way, a mixture of curiosity and horror, but wisely said and did nothing. "You asked for my opinion when you dragged me out of the hospital and brought me here. Just face it, Pig, you look fat in whatever the hell you tried on so let's go."

"You haven't even seen what I'm wearing!" Ino shouted back. The red curtain ruffled but remained closed. "And I'm not fat, I'm fucking beautiful."

"Can we please just go?"

The curtain opened revealing Ino in all her glory. If Sakura was honest, which she was when the mood or situation suited her, she would have said that Ino looked amazing. The dress was short yet trendy with a high neckline, no back, and was so tight that it showed every rounded curve of Ino's hourglass figure. Once more, it was red, murder fucking red.

"Jealous much?" Ino winked striking a pose.

Yes, but as if she would ever admit to it. Sakura smirked crossing her arms. "Only about the amount of money you're going to be getting by the hour."

Ino rolled her eyes. "If you're interested, and I know you are, my prey is Mozuku."

Sakura's mouth dropped. "Mozuku as in the Mozuku who works under your dad?"

"The one and only," Ino laughed.

"What does your dad think of you?" Sakura scoffed rolling her eyes yet was extremely amused nevertheless. Those guys in Torture and Interrogation didn't get out much, and because of that Sakura didn't know too much about Mozuku, couldn't even recall his face in detail, but had heard that he was a decent enough guy.

Ino shrugged going back into the fitting room the curtain swooshing close behind her. "What papa doesn't know can't hurt him. Besides," Ino added peeking out from behind the curtain. "I can't resist guys with glasses."

A guy in glasses, eh? When she thought of Kakashi in glasses she definitely could resist. The question was why did she even think of him?


	23. Lessons in Domesticity

"Neji, is that you?" Sakura called out rushing to the adjacent aisle.

Neji, who had two bags in his hands as if he were deciding which one to buy, nodded and greeted her with his customary aloof politeness, "Haruno."

"You're back," she exclaimed with a smile shifting her grocery basket from her left to her right hand. "And grocery shopping."

His brow rose. "I have to eat as well."

Neji had been gone for a few months on some prolonged, most likely, boring mission, and since he no longer lived directly on the Hyuga Estate he had to shop for himself. It was just that Sakura never saw him grocery shopping. The thought had never crossed her mind and seeing him doing something so…domestic was mind-boggling.

Sakura shifted the weight of her food again. "That's true. I didn't hear you were back in the village though, did you just get in?"

"Early this morning." The rest went unsaid, but Sakura suspected he was both hungry and tired and had just come from Tsunade's office. A lot usually went unsaid with Neji.

"You should come drinking with Tenten and I later. It's going to be fun." Sakura said stressing the fun part. Not that he would come. Her record with him was 6:57.

He slightly smirked placing the larger bag into his own basket, decision made. "Have you been dragging my teammate into trouble?"

"No!" Pause. "Why, have you heard something because if you have it's a dirty lie. People aren't honest, Neji, you really have to be more careful."

The brown haired shinobi looked at her blankly. "I bumped into Ibiki when I left the Hokage."

Sakura snorted. "I'm telling you people are weavers of fabrications in this village. They are bored."

"I see."

"I'm glad you do."


	24. Naughty Novels

Sakura decided to pull a Kakashi and walk around with her nose stuck in a naughty book. People stared and whispered but eventually got over themselves and her own awesomeness. That was what they must have been whispering about. Or so she tried to tell herself. Sure she could have read it in the comfort of her own apartment, or on some vacant training field, but she was feeling both devious and daring and wanted, dare she say, a Kakashi experience? (The man had been on her mind too much lately.)

And so it was with her nose stuck in a book that she ran into her famous ex-sensei himself. Though the word 'ran' would be an inaccurate description since she'd sensed him, but running into him was a good way to start up a conversation as any.

"Enjoying your book, Sakura?"

"Quite." Sakura motioned to his own book. "And are you enjoying yours? I see you're reading volume two of Icha Icha Violence. Any good?"

"It's very romantic. How is," he tilted his head slightly to read her book jacket. "The Lusty Lord of Quivering Mounds?" He paused. "I can hardly believe someone published a book under that title."

"I bought it at Pink." Sakura explained with a smile. "And it's really dirty. You know no plot, pointless sex, and a whole lot of nothing going on. Love it."

"I've never seen that book at Pink." Kakashi frowned no doubt scouring his memory of the bookstore's bookshelves, though Pink could hardly be called just a bookstore. "And I know Pink."

Sakura smirked. "I wouldn't publicly announce just how pervy you are, Kaka-sensei."

"I don't read books with words like quivering or mounds in the title in public." He pointed out. "Or in private." He added for good measure. "Where was it?"

She waved her book around aimlessly. "In the back…the very back," and at his expression Sakura continued. "I had to basically harass my way into their old storage rooms where, to my pleasure, I found boxes and boxes of dirty vintage novels like these. My next is The Young Scholar's Cuntry Lessons."

"You should have left those books in storage." Kakashi managed to say after a few seconds of silence. "There was a reason why they were there."

Sakura winked. "I'll let you borrow them when I'm done, okay?"


	25. Mothers and Marriages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so thankful my mom isn't like Sakura's mother.

"Your cousin is getting married and she is three years younger than you, Sakura."

Another lunch with her mother and as always it was about marriage. "Yeah, and she's pregnant. Talk about shotgun wedding. I'm not going. Uncle Kazura is going to get plastered and start ranting and make a grab at my ass. No thanks."

Her mother snapped her wrist with a utensil. "Language, young lady."

"You've been implying that I'm old for the past thirty minutes, mom. Make up your mind, woman!"

"Sakura, you are no longer in the blossom of youth. I don't care – get pregnant and then married, I know how you young people are, but time's wasting away. I want grandkids to spoil and a son-in-law to bother."

"I don't want kids." Sakura crossed her arms and for good measure added, "Or a husband."

Her mother's smile was condescending. "Oh, Sakura, honey, yes you do."


	26. Silence is Golden

"Yamato-taicho," Sakura whispered into her headpiece.

"What's up, Sakura?" Silence. "Sakura?"

"Why aren't you married?"

She heard the distinct sound of sputtering on the other end.

"We're on a mission, Sakura. Focus." As if she could forget Sakura thought looking around her treetop vantage point. There was so much God-forsaken foliage that she wouldn't be surprised if some of it ended up her ass.

"Yeah, a mission where fucking nothing is happening. We've been here three days - it's over." And it was true. The target was supposed to show up yesterday at the latest, but Yamato had a _feeling_ so they stayed. Sakura was pretty positive any feeling he felt was stress and tried to explain what it could do to the body, but of course he didn't listen. Bah, men. 

"We finish today and then we report back." Yamato sighed heavily.

"I need a drink." Yamato didn't respond so Sakura pushed on. "Taicho, if not married why don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Sakura-"

"It's not like you're ugly."

Another stretch of silence before another heavy, masculine sigh. "Maybe we should go back now."

She smiled. "Now that's the spirit, taicho!"


	27. Artificial Insemination

It was dango day which meant sweets at her favorite dango stall. Strangely enough Kakashi happened to be lurking around and had ended up joining her even though he didn't partake of yumminess.

"Kakashi, do you want to have kids?" Sakura asked once she settled in. She gave him the once over. "I mean you can still have kids, right?"

Kakashi frowned. "Sakura, I'm not old."

"And kids?" 

He shrugged. "I don't see the problem with them."

"Well...I didn't expect that." She chewed thoughtfully on her food. "What's your reason?"

"Our duty to the village." He replied quickly and unconcerned. "Why do you ask, are you thinking about kids? You are getting older."

Sakura snorted. "I don't want any, duty or not, old or not, but my mother's been pressuring me. Maybe I should just get artificially inseminated. It could be kind of fun going through that catalog."

"Or you could ask someone." Kakashi pointed out. "Do the whole mother-father scenario."

Sakura made a face. "That's one big hell no, Kakashi. Who would I ask – you?"

"I'd be willing, you know, to do my duty."

Sakura snapped her hand down suddenly very nervous at the intensity in his eyes. "You know you're right, artificial insemination is the way to go."


	28. Merits of Good Sex

"You need a vacation, Sakura." Tsunade commented when Sakura walked in.

"Damn right I do, shishou."

Tsuande eyed her up and down from above her reading spectacles and smirked. "And maybe you need good sex too."

"What the hell?" Sakura bellowed. Shizune stumbled into the room with wide eyes, poison needles out.

"What's wrong?" Shizune panicked.

The other women ignored her entrance.

"It's a good stress reliever, but I won't go into since you know my policy of preaching to the choir." Sakura knew she in fact had no such policy, but sometimes it was wiser just to shut up.


	29. Invitations

"Naruto, do you think I need to get laid?" Sakura asked lowering her head to the counter and looking up at him.

Naruto flushed and choked on his ramen. "Is that an invitation, Sakura-chan?"

She was up in a half a second, her fist in his face. "Care to repeat that, Naruto?"

From the ground there came a murmuring noise sounding like, "I'd rather not."

"Good, because I'd hate to tell Hinata."

"I was just kidding. Jeez, maybe you do need to get laid."

A second fist swung his way.


	30. Blue Balls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't originally going to add this chapter because I'm not huge fan of it, but I ended up deciding to keep it so that this and my original story are the same.
> 
> This chapter was inspired a long time ago from a post I saw on the website TextsFromLastNight.

Sakura leaned on her palm, elbow resting on the table, as she recalled one of the more interesting nights of her life. Around her were Ino - who'd already heard the story plenty of times so wasn't quite as enthralled - Shikamaru, Genma, and Kakashi who all were _eagerly_ awaiting the conclusion of her story, but in reality really had no choice but to listen since they were blocked in the booth by her and Ino.

"And so things were getting hot and heavy by that time, but when I asked him if he had a condom, as if he were that great I'd forget about it, you know what he said?"

Genma grinned shamelessly. "Probably what I've said a couple of times." 

"Just a couple?" Shikamaru replied looking mildly disgusted.

"Anyway," Sakura continued shooting a glare at the two men. "He said he didn't have a condom." The pink haired woman snorted. "He didn't fucking have a condom. So what if I'm on birth control? As if he would get the privilege of cumming in me. Bastard."

"And you said?" Kakashi said interrupting her train of malevolent thoughts, his voice bland and expression blander, while Ino straightened as if she had come to some type of personal epiphany.

Sakura ignored this in favor of leaning back, a satisfied smirk on her face. "I said: That's great because I'm ready to be a mom. He didn't stay very long after that."


	31. Love and Lust

"I was in love once." Shizune confessed gazing into her nonalcoholic, grandma drink.

Sakura gagged. "What, you seriously were? I mean...Oh, with whom?"

Shizune glared at the younger woman. "His name was Izumo."

"And what happened? Did you at least have sex with him? He didn't break your heart did he, the cheating douche-bag!"

"We were nine." Shizune said offended.

Sakura slumped down onto the table. "That is the lamest story I've ever heard."

"Sorry, not all of us can have Sasuke level stories."

Sakura laughed. "Now, now, Shizune, don't be jealous."

"It's not like you had sex with Sasuke either."

Sakura nodded. "True, but I had some wicked fantasies."

"I'm kind of appalled."

"Hey," Sakura leaned back and smiled. "The guy may have been a bastard, but he was fucking hot."

"And so goes the story of your first love," Shizune sighed.

"And first lust more importantly."


	32. Applied Icha Icha

"Page fifty-three."

Sakura flipped to the page. "Ugh. Really? I thought you'd chose the one page two hundred twenty-three."

Kakashi flipped open his copy Icha Icha Tactics vol. 3 once more. "That seems…" he paused and smiled, "strenuous."

"Maybe for old men." Sakura retorted loftily.

"I'm in my early forties." He huffed looking mildly annoyed.

Sakura though wasn't paying attention flipping through her own orange book. "Have you ever tried the position on one hundred fifty?"

"Have you?" He asked regarding the picture.

"You're a perv, sensei, to ask your cute student such a naughty question."

"I'll take that as a yes." Sakura merely laughed and shrugged.

"How did we end up flipping through sexual positions in Icha Icha Tactics?" Sakura asked wondering how she found herself trading experiences of applied sexual positions from Icha Icha with Kakashi. Not that she was complaining, but this wasn't exactly their standard fare.

Kakashi closed his book and leaned back against his couch all too happy to answer. "You were bored and knocked on my door thirty minutes ago that book," he pointed to her copy, "in hand and that bottle of sake," he pointed to his coffee table, "in your other hand."

"Oh yeah." Well, she had been bored and Kakashi was as good as any friend to bother. Okay, he was more fun to bother.

Kakashi leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and a strange light in his eyes. "Still bored?"

Sakura took something out of her bag to distract her from the fact that her heart, so calm a moment before, was now rapidly pounding in her chest. Instead she smiled hiding her sudden nervousness. "Not when I pop this into your T.V."

In her hand, she held Icha Icha Tactics the motion picture.

If Kakashi wasn't sure before he knew now without a doubt that he loved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Kakashi. You're in for a hell of a ride. He probably already knows that since he's been in love with Sakura for years, though. 
> 
> When I first started this fic a long time ago, I thought about doing a spin-off series with him as the main character, but in no way is that happening now unfortunately. I am far too lazy nowadays.


	33. Too Emotional

"Anbu?" Sakura lifted her head from the counter and pinned Naruto with a hard stare. Honestly, she should have seen this coming. He'd been hinting at it for years now.

"Yes!" The blond exclaimed. "Have you considered, you know, joining it?"

"What do you mean have I considered it?"

For a second the blond looked a bit flustered as if the statement escaped him by accident. "It's the next step, isn't it? And you're good, Sakura, really good. The amount of A-ranked missions you've gone on alone exempts you from the required three recommendations anyway."

Sakura crossed her arms. "You just don't want to apply for it by yourself," she teased.

"That's not true!" Naruto vigorously rubbed his hair with both hands, an endearing habit of his since childhood. "We're a team, I just want…"

"I get what you're saying, Naruto." Sakura said gently in a tone she hardly used anymore. "But do you really think Anbu is for us? No doubt we'd kick ass, but we aren't really the silent, killing type. We're more the 'what the fuck are you doing with that weapon', 'don't throw away your life for revenge, dumb-ass', and the 'you're about to go down because look how strong I am compared to you, maggot' type of people. Furthermore, when would we even have the time? Don't tell Tsunade because she'll be extra lazy, but we damn near run the village."

"You two aren't good with following directions either." Sai chimed in sitting down next to them, a blank smile on his face. "You'd be dead in no time."

"What'd you say, you empty-eyed bastard?" Naruto yelled standing up and toppling his chair. Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'm the best at following directions when they make sense and aren't dumb!"

"And explained slowly," Sakura added with a smirk. The comment went over the blonde's head.

Sai nodded to no one in particular. "Too emotional as well and besides," he smirked, "Kakashi would never let you join."

This last comment was aimed at her, and because of it her blood pressure shot through the roof.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sakura tapped her foot on the ground.

"Sakura, you can't come to me for everything." Sai said shaking his head. "Really, think for yourself."

"You can get yourself your own girlfriend, Sai!"

At this Naruto blinked and turned towards their pale teammate. "You want a girlfriend?"

"I'm going to kick Kakashi's old ass the next time I see him!" Sakura roared ignoring the blonde's question. How dare Kakashi stop her? Who did he think he was? It was because she had a vagina, wasn't it? Damn the curse-ed petals of womanhood! Kakashi was a sexiest pig. She'd show him! 

In her anger she failed to realize that Kakashi had never said anything of the sort, but Sai wasn't about to inform her about that little detail. The scene she was making was much too amusing so instead he opted for a different approach.

"See," he said to Naruto who appeared to be in the middle of some emotional crisis. "Too emotional."

"I'll show you emotional!" Sakura screamed and suddenly fists started swinging.

Unfortunately, Naruto wasn't able to escape in time.


	34. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

"Sakura, nice to see you here." Kakashi greeted with a smile in his voice as he walked up to the dango stall. "You too, Ino."

"Hey, Kakashi-sempai." Ino greeted back drinking her tea. Sakura, on the other hand, didn't bother looking up.

"What the hell do you mean nice seeing you? You make it sound as though we haven't seen each other in months." Ino frowned and shoved her a bit. Sakura frowned back chewing on her dango thoughtfully.

"I've been out of the village for a week. You didn't miss me?" Kakashi tried to make his one visible eye look as hurt as possible.

"To be honest, I didn't know you were gone." Sakura shrugged and missed the strange flash in his eye. Ino didn't but like hell she would say anything. Sometimes it sucked being able to read people so well. She blamed her clan's genes.

"Nice to have you back." Ino said getting up and flashing the Copy-nin a blank smile. "Anyway, Sakura I got to go. See ya!"

"PIG, YOU DIDN'T PAY!"

If one thing could distract Sakura from dango bliss it was money, but Ino was already gone and there was no way in hell she was going to leave her dangos with Kakashi. Even if he didn't like sweets, the man would eat them to spite her.

Kakashi motioned for her to leave. "Go get her. I'll protect your food."

Sakura snorted. "You'll eat them."

The man sprawled out against his chair, stretched out his body, and crossed his legs at the ankles. "So you say."

Sakura swatted his leg with her own appendage. "So I know."

"That one time only happened because you stole my plant." Kakashi explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "And I happen to like my plant where he is, on his window sill."

"How do you know it's a he?" Sakura shot back amused. "Besides, you found Mr. Ukki an hour later."

"Being attacked by children."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "It was one little girl and she was watering your plant."

"It's the principal of the matter."

"You need a life." Sakura pointed out.

Kakashi leaned forward till he was very close to her face and his eye crinkled in a smile. "And I hear that you need to get laid. Any offers?"


	35. Virginity

"Shino lost his virginity."

"You're shitting me, right?" Sakura silently screamed leaning forward.

"No, I was there." Kiba whispered copying her forward motion.

Sakura blinked, laughed, and then backed away with a wide smile. "First, weird. Second, I didn't know you swung that way." Kiba's smile fell away as realization dawned. He started shaking his head backtracking.

"What? No! Why would you - Sakura, I didn't... "

"Third, I would tell Ino, but I think Sai's already gone."

True to her word, the seat next to her was empty - the seat previously occupied by one dark haired, emotionally stunted shinobi.

"Fuck me!"

"I think that's Shino's job." Sakura teased.

Kiba gave her one last glare before taking off after Sai. Life was too damn good at times Sakura thought leaning back in her seat. So good in fact that she decided to treat herself to another shot of whiskey.


	36. The Very Bad, No Good Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. This is where Sakura's drabble-ish adventures begin to turn more into a story. It won't be immediately or all at once, but it is from this chapter where everything starts to coalesce. That is not to say there won't be any quick conversations or peeks into Sakura's life of course, but there will be more of a linear plot that they will be sprinkled across. 
> 
> Enjoy!

An important conversation, that's what Ino said she wanted to have. Of course, hindsight was a hell of a thing. Sakura should have realized that an important conversation for Ino was in reality not very important at all. Enlightening at times, humorous at others, her conversations were nevertheless irrelevant, wasteful activities.

"Sakura," the blond sang a little too nicely when she opened door. Sakura shivered stepping in and wondered if it was a bad omen. "It's been too long since we've last talked."

Wishing she had a watch so she could look down at it impatiently, Sakura sighed rubbing her eyes. "Pig, we saw each other yesterday. Remember you abandoned me with Kakashi and didn't pay your bill?"

"Oh, I'm sure you kids had a great time." Ino waved her off. There was an unholy gleam in her blue eyes. "How did it go?"

"What do you mean how did it go?" Sakura answered slowly trying to think of a good excuse to leave. She had a bad feeling about this conversation.

"You and Kakashi," Ino pushed passing Sakura a beer. "You two talk about anything interesting?"

"Why are you so interested?" Sakura said a little defensively. Ino's smile widened. It reminded Sakura of the time Ino found her mother's cosmetics box when they were kids.

"Can't I be interested in what my friends talk about?" The blond countered.

Sakura raised her brow. "Why are you interested now?"

"Can't you answer just one question without another question?" Ino's voice lost some of its placidity.

"Why are you asking so many questions?"

Ino seemed to suddenly switch tactics. "Do you like anyone right now, Sakura?"

"What the hell, Pig? First, you ask weird questions about Kakashi and now you want to know if I like anyone. If I didn't know any better I'd say that…" Sakura rolled her eyes. "You're crazy, Ino. That's not going to happen."

"You're avoiding the question." Ino accused.

"I'm avoiding pointless, thoughtless questions, yes." Sakura growled back. She didn't like the tight feeling in her chest whenever she thought of Kakashi, her ex-sensei, in that particular light.

The blond shrugged. "There is no such thing as a pointless question, my dear. I think you're hiding something."

" _Really_ …" Sakura couldn't believe this conversation was happening. Ino's mind was an intricate labyrinth of ridiculousness.

"You don't even think he's attractive?" Ino began again.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'm not blind, Ino." Not that she was about to say that blindness was lifted only somewhat recently…because of special lighting. That sounded dumb.

"So you like him then."

"NO!"

Sakura bit her lip. At least, she hoped she didn't.

She hated Ino's important conversations. Nothing came from them except self-doubt, self hatred, and, more than likely for some helpless person, STDs.


	37. Very Special Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This refers back to what happened in Chapter 35.

"You bought me condoms." Shino's ever monotone voice broke the silence.

"Word on the block is that you lost your V-card. Congrats! Let's go drinking."

"No."

Sakura pouted. "But the whole gang is waiting. We bought decorations and everything!"

"That is the exact reason why it is wiser not to go."

"You're going." Sakura rolled up her sleeves.

Shino copied her motion. The difference was that no bugs came out of her sleeves and she left soon after that. It was better sometimes to give up and send Kiba instead.


	38. Handy Talents

"Whoa. _Whooa_." Sakura said pushing her hands out in front of her for physical emphasis. "You want _me_ to go on an S-ranked mission with _you_?"

"You're qualified to accompany me on the mission." Kakashi explained flipping through his book and looking very much indifferent except for the slightly tight grip on it. "And Tsunade-sama has already ok-ed the idea."

"But why?"

Kakashi smiled. "Your talents would be quite handy."

"My ability to obliterate things would be an asset. On a S-ranked mission?" Which didn't make sense at all. S-ranked missions required finesse, and while she could manage something of finesse her style had always been loud and destructive much like her dear mentor.

"While impressive I'm talking about your genjutsu, Sakura."

"Oh, they are pretty kick ass too." Sakura conceded. And they should be since she'd been cultivating her genjutsu talents since she was eighteen with Kurenai. "But why should I accept this mission?"

"To spend time with me?" His eye flickered up from his book to settle steady on her. It was unnerving, but nothing so disturbing that she couldn't easily brush off.

"Try again." She picked her ear unimpressed.

"Bragging rights?" Kakashi's rubbed the back of his neck.

"Eh, I have plenty of those already."

"The pay is worth three A-ranked missions."

She paused. "Hell, why didn't you say that in the first place, Hatake? Of course, I'll go with you! You didn't even have to ask."

"But I did have to ask."

She smiled. "Eh? I don't remember."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it too much of a stretch to say that Kakashi kind of thinks of this as a date? The man, much like Sakura, is quite hopeless. I'm sure he finds asking her to be his mission partner very romantic and obvious.


	39. Flattering Missions

"Shishou!" Sakura bellowed barging into her mentor's office, a red-sealed mission scroll clutched tightly in her hand.

Tsunade lounged in her chair, a sake cup carelessly held between her fingers, and yawned quietly covering her mouth. "Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"Next time why don't you just send me on a suicide mission and get it over with." Sakura growled slamming her scroll down on a mess of paper.

Tsunade arched a perfectly manicured brow before calling out to her assistant. "Izumo, next time you let this creature barge into my office there will be hell to pay. Is that understood?"

There was a very un-masculine squeaking noise followed by a quick _yes, Hokage-sama_ before the door clicked shut.

"Sakura, you know I can't just kill you off – your talents are hard to come by, my cute student."

"You get some sort of kick by sending me to deal with him, don't you, shishou? Fess up!"

Tsunade leaned back pressing her lips and fingers together. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know what I'm talking about." Sakura whispered harshly holding up the mission scroll assigned to her earlier that morning. "He always, without fail, tries to sleep with me! He has some sort of pink hair fetish or something – actually, not something. He told me point blank that he liked women with pink hair, and since I'm basically the only woman in a hundred kilometer radius that has pink hair you can imagine how flattered I am."

Tsunade scoffed. "You could do worse than the second son of our daimyo. Besides," she shrugged, "he requests you specifically and pays enough money to give his missions A-rank status. Your bank account should be thankful."

"The pay is good." Sakura mused anger all but forgotten as Tsunade sipped her sake.

"Until the next time, Sakura?" Tsunade said looking over at her now pacified pupil.

"I can't promise I won't castrate him."

Tsunade tapped her nails along the desk. "It's probably best if you refrain from doing that, Sakura."

Sakura pushed on undeterred. "But you can see my point, right?"

Tsunade regarded her student's hopeful expression and felt an evil smile twist her lips. "Maybe you should just sleep with the man, Sakura." Her student's face fell. "You know make sure you thoroughly complete your mission."

"Shishou!"

"You're young. You have to keep your options open."

Sakura could barely retain her temper. "You sound like Ino," she managed to ground out after a while.

Tsunade nodded seriously. "Always liked that girl."

"I'm going," Sakura said throwing up her hands, spinning on her heel.

"Have a safe trip, Sakura-chan!" Tsunade called after her as the door slammed behind her.

"Shove it, shishou!" Sakura yelled from down the hallway.

A moment later, Shizune, Tonton in her arms, came wandering in looking from the hallway to the office. Tsunade snickered drinking her sake.

"You really shouldn't tease her so much, Tsunade-sama." Shizune frowned. Tonton oinked in agreement.

The older woman threw her legs on her desk. "I got to get my kicks in somehow, Shizune."

"You gamble and drink." Shizune pointed out confused.

"That doesn't count."

Shizune sighed, "I guess it doesn't."


	40. Blood Rush

"Okay, so I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time…"

Sakura grunted in no mood to humor Ino, but because she was a good friend she decided to lower her book and listen. But damn did she hate listening.

"What are you going to say, Pig? Spit it out."

See. Good friend.

Ino wasn't inclined to agree by the look on her face. "This is why I never talk to you, Forehead."

"What does that mean? You always talk to me. You never stop talking!"

Ino leaned her head onto the table and looked out the window. "You sound like my ex-boyfriend."

Sakura's nose wrinkled. "He was the douche-bag king."

"My point excatly." Ino said with a meaningful poke. "I don't know why he likes you."

Wait. What just happened? Did she just miss an entire piece of the conversation?

"Who likes me?" Sakura ventured, a tad frightened and a bit annoyed as a previous conversation they had came to mind.

Ino waved her hand. "It's just a suspicion, well more than suspicion, I've had for a while is all." Oh, God. Ino paused and looked around as if she was about to divluge all of Konoha's secrets. "And Tenten agrees."

Sakura moved her book from her lap to the table and regarded her blonde friend with unease. "Well, since you and Tenten agree it has to be a fact. Who is this mystery man?"

It better not be Kakashi.

Ino's flippant answer made Sakura drop her book. "Hatake Kakashi, of course. Come on, Sakura."

Sakura choked despite herself. "I think we've already had this conversation, Ino, and settled it."

Ino leaned back against her chair watching her friend choke on what seemingly was air. It was awkward and had to stop soon.

"We did not settle it. Nothing was settled. You just stormed out. Now, I know he is a bit difficult to read being so mysterious and masked and all, but trust me when I say that he like-likes you." Ino pointed out unhelpfully.

Sakura's head hurt with the sudden rush of blood to her brain. "Like-like?" Sakura rolled her eyes. "Ino, really now. Kakashi of all people? He thinks I'm vulgar and crass, as I've already stated about a thousand times."

"He's vulgar." Ino shot back. "He reads those Icha Icha books in public."

Sakura tilted her head. "That's pervy not vulgar."

"Tomato, tomato. He isn't crass in the same way you are I'll give you that," Ino said nodding generously. "But maybe he's into that type of thing. You always used to see him with those loose women."

"I think there might be an insult in there somewhere." Sakura's muttering was largely ignored by Ino who continuned speaking.

"Plus, he always hangs out with you."

"He also hangs around the memorial stone, but I don't think he wants to marry it." Sakura couldn't help but say. Ino glared.

"Just trust me on this." Sakura opened her book again. "Sakura." Something in Ino's voice made her look up again. "He laughs with you."

A moment passed in silence, and in that moment Sakura felt fuzzy. He laughed with other people too right? Not as much as with you her inner voice intoned deciding to make an appearance. Whatever. This was not her concern. She shouldn't be contemplating Kakashi. It was weird. He was a friend, like a hot older brother…Yeah, she would stop thinking right now.

"The bastard laughs at me, Ino, not with me."

Because God help her if Hatake Kakashi was actually interested.

And damn Ino for bringing it up again!


	41. Off the Books

"This mission is off the books, Sakura. Strictly on a need to know basis." Tsunade hunched forward, her eyes dark and earnest.

Sakura was less than impressed. Missions like this didn't phase a seasoned shinobi like her. It also helped that she knew Tsunade's defintion of 'off the books', so instead of getting excited she picked her ear instead.

"You know, Sakura, this mission requires a bit more respect than what you're showing."

The pink haired woman straightened and smiled at her shishou. "You need me to go pay off some debts, don't you? Don't want the elders knowing?"

Tsunade snorted leaning back. "Can you blame me? If the elders knew they wouldn't let me out of their sight, and Shizune has been bad enough."

"I guess I'll be gambling again."

"How else does you make fast money?" Tsunade asked archly. "How is it that my cute student has surpased me in games of chance?" Her sigh was both sad and proud.

"It wasn't all that hard really." Sakura prodded antagonistically. Tsunade threw her a dirty look.

"Since you already know the drill, I'll be brief. You'll be heading to mountain village Ichiimari tomorrow at 0600 hours and meeting your contact at Maru Bridge. From there he will introduce you to all the people you need to know and provide you with lodgings. The rest is the usual and described in this scroll." Tsunade said handing her a much smaller than usual mission scroll.

"How much am I getting paid for this?"

"The standard C-rank payment, but also whatever else you win." Tsuande said sounding jealous.

"This is going to suck." Sakura said stuffing the scroll into her jacket pockets. "A C-rank payment and gambling with old farts. Fan-tastic."

"I would say don't drink," Tsunade began leveling Sakura with a smirk, "but that's like asking the sun not to rise. Just get me my money and get home, drunk or not."

Sakura laughed making her way out. "You know my policy on drunk running, shishou."

"What policy? You don't like running period."

Sakura nodded. "That's true, but I still don't really want to go. It's only a C-rank."

"I could sweeten the deal as well, if you want. Throw in Hatake to keep you company."

Sakura scruntched up her face. "How is that excalty sweetening the deal? Besides, you know how Kakashi is."

"Excalty." Tsunade voiced strangely mysterious. "Besides, any mission with Hatake as a member is an automatic stamp of approval from the elders – nothing fishy at all about it, even if it is off the books, and you know those damn elders always end up knowing everything. Is nothing sacred anymore?"

"It's their job," Sakura voiced annoyed. Then: "Wait. Are you saying I'm fishy?"

"Anyway, he needs a vacation." Tsunade continued ignoring her student's previous outburst.

"No, I'm the one who needs a vacation."

Tsunade eyed her over. "No, you still need sex. Ask Hatake."

What the hell?!


	42. The Other Woman

Sakura hated tracking.

It was all good and fun for the first hour or so but after a while it just gave her the scratch because, for one, she had better things to do. Yeah, she could have asked Kiba and Akamaru for help, but they were worse than annoying. Besides, she already had Ino and enough was enough.

"Again, you didn't have to come along." Sakura pointed out peeking inside a dark alleyway.

The blond shrugged. "I'm just glad to see you trying to find Kakashi. Are you going to confess to him?"

Sakura arched a brow. "I have nothing to confess." At least, nothing that he wanted to hear. "Besides, Tsunade is the one who's making me find him."

"Why?"

For a mission that's off the books – though a vacation for him, but she didn't say that and went with: "Hell if I know."

Again, tracking Kakashi sucked. He could never be found when she actually wanted to find him…

Ino's hand gripped her upper arm.

"Sakura, don't look behind you." the blonde gasped. Sakura immediately turned around and squinted. 

"Is that Kakashi?"

"With a woman." Ino added unhelpfully. 

Sakura turned back to her friend with a raised eyebrow as something uneasy settled into the pit of her stomach. Indigestion? "It's been a while since I've seen that, I hope he uses a condom."

"You're not going cry or yank him away from that woman?"

"No, but I am a bit...weird-ed out. Wait, why would I be crying or ruining his night?" Even though that could be kind of fun for reasons she didn't want to delve in. That tingly feeling in her stomach gave a little lurch with the idea.

"Because you're secretly in love with him, idiot!"

Sakura sniffed crossing her arms. "Stop placing your fantasies on me, Ino. Last time you did that I lost my virginity."

"That wasn't me - you just made a bad life choice but," she all but sang, "I would approve of Kakashi."

Sakura's glance flickered over to the white haired man, caught his steady gaze, and blushed. Yeah, definitely indigestion.

"He's a bit old." And though Sakura didn't really believe it she prayed it'd would shut Ino up.

"Not old - seasoned, but that's a good thing." Ino whispered staring at Kakashi appreciatively. "I bet he's sexy as all hell underneath that mask. You know I've heard rumors that he knows how to treat a lady right."

Sakura watched Ino try to wink.

"So what you're saying is that my ex-sensei is a sex god? Yes, that really makes me what to jump his bones." Worst part of it was that it kind of did, if only to see how seasoned he actually was venereal disease aside.

"Plus," Ino continued, "he gives you looks."

Sakura very non-seriously pondered her friend's statement all the while thinking that she needed a new best friend, one that wouldn't bring up Kakashi at every possible moment.

"If he was interested, Ino, he wouldn't be giving me looks. He'd be buying me lotto tickets because those mean a hell of a lot more to me than looks. Besides, if he's interested why is he with her?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "We're not in some romance novel, Forehead. Jeez."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course they're not being very good shinobi. They didn't look underneath the underneath. :)


	43. The Art of Tracking Prey

Sakura somehow managed to lose Ino, follow Kakashi, and guzzle down two bottles of beer at the same time. Not to mention send some children hateful glares when they sat judging her as she downed said bottles of beer. Hey, she had to keep up with Kakashi, but what was a girl to do when she was thirsty?

Thankfully, he and the mystery woman parted ways soon after that. They shared no prolonged gazes, no secret smooches – though this was Kakashi, she mused – but still nothing seemed sexy. She was slightly disappointed and decided to focus on that part of her emotions rather than the other, larger portion that didn't really sit well with her and thus was ignored.

She was on him in a heartbeat.

"Hey, Kakashi."

True to character the man wasn't even surprised. "Enjoy following me, Sakura?"

"Tracking is not one of my finer points." Sakura admitted falling in step with him. Kakashi glanced down at her, his eye warm and dark. "It was one of the few lessons I barely passed."

"It takes a great deal of patience," Kakashi admitted feelingly, "and I have learned to be very patient over the years."

"Older people do tend to be patien." Sakura pointed out with a wink. "Anyway, Tsunade sent me to find you."

"Oh?"

"Oh," Sakura mimicked. "Yes, oh. On her orders you're coming with me tomorrow to Ichiimari. 0600 hours at the main entrance, don't be late or I'll hurt you."

Kakashi scratched his head. "The Hokage and that town are never a good mix. What's the occasion?"

"Tell me about it." Sakura's head dropped. "Anyway, take it as some sort of vacation for you, okay. She tells me you need one like I need sex."

"No offers?" Kakashi asked wickedly. "My offer still stands."

"Why don't you just stick a needle in my eye and be done with it, Kakashi." She shot back crossing her arms. Her attractiveness was always, and would always be, a sore spot for her. Unlike Ino she didn't have endless offers for sex or anything interesting really…except the daimyo's perverted son and the Kakashi's off colored jokes. "No one here appreciates my awesome assets, but tomorrow we'll be in some _exotic, foreign city_ and the prospects will be aplenty."

"Your sarcasm is endless, Sakura." Kakashi chuckled stuffing his hands into his pockets to keep from touching her. "I'm sure though you won't have time for prospecting." She looked at him quizzically and he quickly continued. "As I'm sure this isn't some sort of ordered vacation for you."

"Damn, right. It's work, and you better stay out of my way when we get there!"

"I'm surprised you haven't asked." Kakashi whispered suddenly, a little closer to her than he was before.

"Asked?" She blinked up at him with total guilelessness. Kakashi mentally groaned. She was more like Naruto than she knew.

"About the woman I was with," he said a little grumpily. "You're usually curious about everything I do."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, Hatake. When have I ever been interested in your flavor of the month?" Sakura eyed him over suggestively as he crossed his arms. "Or the minute?"

"You'd be surprised by my stamina, Sakura."

Her stomach fluttered.

"Too bad I'll never find out, eh, Hatake. I'd be worried about you having a heart attack or something." She teased flipping her hair for emphasis and so that she didn't have to look at him as she mentally screamed. And it was too bad that Sakura turned her back then because, if she hadn't, she would have witnessed the determined look that passed through Kakashi's eye.


	44. Six Truths

There were many truths in this world. Too bad Sakura hated owning up to them, but there was something to be said for honesty.

Truth # 1: she really did want to ask Kakashi about the woman.

Truth # 2: never, ever had she taken an interest in one of his light-o'-loves before.

Truth # 3: like hell she was going to start being interested now.

Truth # 4: she was very much was interested now.

Truth # 5: Sakura refused to live up to Truth # 4; she wouldn't ask him. No way! Unless she ended up super wasted on this upcoming 'mission' and blurted out her interest. That was a distinct possibility.

Hmm.

Solution: don't drink.

Truth # 6: she was going to drink. The sun rose in the east and set in the west, after all.

And true to Truth # 4, the woman – who was she exactly? She could have been his landlady, drug dealer, or friendly neighbor who…

DRUG DEALER!

No, Kakashi didn't do drugs. Unless…did he have painful memories that he drowned out with hard drugs? Of course he had painful memories. This was Kakashi. He wore a mask, and if that didn't scream out deep, dark problems then what did? Far more important, the man should have been aware that alcohol was so much better for drowning out one's problems. It was liquid after all. Furthermore, why didn't he come to her if he wanted drugs? She basically ran the hospital. People were always trying to steal drugs from them one way or another.

Maybe an intervention was needed Sakura mused folding some cloths into her pack.

There was a knock at the door.

"Sakura." Tenten's muffled voice called out. "Open up!"

"It's open." Sakura shouted back wondering what in the world the weapon's mistress wanted. There was the sound of the door opening and closing and soft footsteps before Tenten stepped into her room gazing around as if she was suddenly transported to some alien planet.

"Damn. You're so messy."

Sakura found that she had to agree; clothes were on every surface and books were sprawled out around the room amongst kick-knacks she had no memory of ever having. When was the last time she cleaned? "Dirty panties should go in the laundry basket, right? Damn. Always forget that."

Tenten laughed jumping onto her bed, bouncing a bit. "Going on a mission?"

"Not really," Sakura sort of lied. "More along the lines of a forced vacation for Kakashi's sake." That was sort of kind of the truth.

"Oh, you're going with Kakashi?"

"More or less."

Tenten paused. "Make sure to pack condoms."

Sakura didn't have it in her to be mad. "Ino putting ideas in your head again, Tenten?"

The brown haired girl smiled throwing a half answer right back at her. "Sure, why not."

"Anyway, I don't have any condoms, and if I did they're probably expired." Sakura admitted flapping out another shirt and bringing it to her nose to sniff. It didn't smell that bad. She threw it into the pack.

Tenten whistled. "That bad, huh?"

"You don't even know."

Maybe I should have sex with Kakashi, Sakura thought throwing some shorts into her pack.

Silence.

Tenten really had no idea why Sakura started screaming.


	45. More Truths

Truth # 7: A few hours ago Sakura told Kakashi that she was heading out.

Truth# 8: Truth #7 was a lie. It was about 52 hours ago...

Truth# 9: Either she had become the best at evading tracker-nins in small, touristy towns or Kakashi didn't care enough to come find her. And no there weren't any unpleasant tingling sensations her stomach with that last thought.

Sakura had no doubt that was good at evading other shinobi, but this was Kakashi and there was no way she was that good. Kakashi had like what, 500 or so dogs at his disposal? Not only that but he could track a falcon on a cloudy day or some BS. Pretty sure Gemna told her that once as he was banging on about some mission he and Kakashi went on like eons ago, but that little tid-bit was the only thing she remembered from the whole painful experience.

Though seriously, while becoming the best at evading the copy-nin overnight would have been super amazing, it was more likely the second. And though there was something weird going on with her stomach at the thought - she had been drinking a lot after all - there was also a vindictive little joy juggling around her in head which meant she was right. And that meant she got to say _Fuck you, Ino!_ when she got back home.

Because like hell she liked Kakashi, and there was no way Kakashi liked her. He would have at least tried to get a drink with her. Or sleep with her under that bench she passed out under the night previous, but that wasn't the point. The point was there was plenty enough time he could have dropped by and at least said, "Hello, Sakura. Good to see you alive and well. Just wanted to tell you that I was alive and well too. Toodles!"

How hard was that? Was she not good enough for a freaking toodles?

Hmm.

Sakura stopped shaking the dice in her hand and very seriously pondered the question.

"Hey, just throw the damn dice, kunoichi!" One old geezer threw her way.

An older lady with a crazy sexy mole on top of her lip smirked while smoking her pipe. "You know we aren't suppose to yell that out."

"It looks like she's thinking." Another nameless person threw in their two-cents.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

The first old geezer went to shake her shoulder, but Sakura surprised the collective group by suddenly making a lunge for him. The so far nameless old man tried to movie away, but Sakura grabbed him by the shoulders before shouting, "No way he drowned in the hot springs!"

Grabbing her hair with her other hand, Sakura saw all the different and embarrassing ways Kakashi could die rolling through her head.

"Just fucking throw the dice! The dice," the old man wheezed out while trying to brush off her other hand still on his shoulder. Eventually, Sakura let him go and he immediately began rubbing it.

"Young folks are so damn disrespectful to their elders."

"Who dies in a hot spring?" The older woman wondered aloud while puffing on her pipe.

"People," Sakura grumbled throwing the dice before rising. High roll. "Put my winnings in my safety deposit. I'll be back, you old coots!"

And with that Sakura popped out of the gambling den and made her way down the street.

Because Truth # 10: Kakashi would die in a stupid way, and Tsunade would blame her of course. And who had time for that? She could just imagine Gai's disappointed, teary face and 100% didn't want to deal with it.

Despite that, if and when Kakashi died, she was going to let everyone know she called it. She once forced a drunk Rock Lee to take a bet on how Kakashi would die. He said, "It would be because of his bright and passionate love for his nation and friends," but Sakura was optimistic. She went for "He'll keel over in some public bathroom after eating too many beans" scenario.

Needless to say, when it went down she was coming to collect.

But hopefully that time wasn't now, Sakura thought standing in front of his hotel door, her right eyebrow twitching.

How dare he make her come and find him! He was the elder...

_No, seasoned._

Her left eyebrow joined the right. Seasoned, elder, whatever, it should have been him checking up on her. Where was he when she passed out under that bench last night?

She needed to drink.

No, she needed to find Kakashi!

She raised her hand to pound at his door, but something stopped her. Why was she so concerned about Kakashi's whereabouts? She'd gone longer without seeing him before. Why was it such an issue now?

 _He always comes and finds you_ , Ino's dumb ass voice floated in her brain. _Face it, Forehead, you miss him._

"No I don't!"

"Don't what?"

Really, it was a testament to Sakura's amazing shinobi skills that she didn't scream.

"Kakashi!" She turned around and pointed. Then probably died for a half second because he wasn't alone. Couldn't be. Not with some woman hanging off his stupid arm.

"Yo!" He waved, and the woman next to him, the small, petite, with huge bozaongas, as Anko would say, stood smiling shyly.

It didn't stand as a testament to Sakura's skills how long it took her to stop staring because she only did so when Kakashi smiled in a particular way she'd never seen before explaining the situation in front of her.

"How rude of me. This is Reiko-chan. Reiko-chan, an old student of mine, Sakura-san."

 _Sakura-san?_

What the hell?

Truth# 11: She hated that he called her that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh. She kind of deserved it for ditching him, but worry not things are not what they seem and all will be explained later! Besides, Sakura needs a bit of a clue concerning things. She's learning, slowly.


	46. The Art of Hightailing It

Sakura was sick of the truth. Truth was dumb and annoying and just not what she was about at the mo'. It was high past time she got back to what she did best – running away from the truth. And that's exactly what she did. Well, what she did after she took a light (five hour) nap and collected her winnings.

Hightailing it, erm, leaving with extreme dignity out of the dumb resort town was the best way to go about this whole meeting Kakashi's more than likely girlfriend business. She'd rather not know. It was much like getting to know an annoying older brother's girlfriend of the month, and who had time for that? Okay, maybe not exactly like that but remember – running. Running took lots of different forms and honestly she didn't want to deal with anything right now. She did leave a note, though. It was on the toilet seat so he HAD to see it at some point because even Copy-Nins had to shit sometime or another.

Anyway, that's how Sakura found herself back in Konoha being yelled at by Tsunade.

"So you JUST LEFT YOUR TEAMMATE?!" Gods, did Tsunade forget that it wasn't an actual mission? Thank God she was actually intelligent enough to keep silent. She wasn't Naruto after all.

"After I spent all that time…" Tsunade continued to speak, though it was mostly grumbles, and Sakura took the chance to drop her bag of winnings on the desk . Tsunade did brighten a little at that, but there was still an unpleasant edge gleaming in her eyes. She wasn't going to address leaving Kakashi until it was forced out of her.

"Here are all your winnings, shishou," Sakura said proudly, "and I even bought you this."

She reached in her bag and calmly placed a bottle of highly prized sake on her mentor's desk. It really went to show how much the older woman in front of her loved her sake because her demeanor immediately relaxed.

"Ah," the blond said reaching for it, "you really are my best student."

"I'm your only student and before you even try Shizune doesn't count. She told me that you used her more a pack mule than anything else." That was a joke of course, but Tsunade didn't take the bait.

"Don't try to divert the conversation, Sakura. Even if it wasn't a quote unquote mission by regular standards you still left your team member."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Pretty sure he picked up another mission, an infiltration mission if you get my drift."

"Oh?" her much honored shishou breathed, a delicate eyebrow curving upward. Yep, she definitely got the drift, but like hell she was going to say anything more. Sakura might have been many things but a gossip monger wasn't one…unless certain circumstances were met. Or it was a juicy piece of gossip. Or Sai was sitting across from her. Or Naruto couldn't stop blabbing on about friends. Or…Okay, fine. She just didn't want to talk about it, okay! That didn't stop Tsunade from trying to needle information out her for another fifteen minutes, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know y'all were looking forward to a confrontation of some sort, but does that sound like the Sakura I've been writing about? That silly woman is gonna run until someone smacks her with some sense or until she drinks a little too much. You'll just have to find out. I don't think it'll be a quick road to epiphany for our dear Sakura. I also hope her dumbness isn't getting too annoying, but I never meant for the 'romance' to really be the main part of the story. Also, remember it's crack! Lol. And at least y'all won't have to wait years before they meet again like my poor readers over at FF.net.


	47. A Patriotic Duty

Ino wasn't talking to her which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but when the blond had stood up with eyes flashing in disappointment and left that DID kind of suck. Sakura itched for a beer as soon as she heard her apartment door close.

Tenten laid a hand on her shoulder and quietly whispered, "She is very pushy, but I think she just wants you to be happy and you and Kakashi get along so well. Granted, you did up and leave him in that town, but that's your M.O. You think he's going to be mad?"

As Tenten mused about that last part, Sakura rubbed her face. Her eyes felt heavy and she wanted to stop thinking. She especially didn't want to think about the guilt starting to creep up her gut for leaving Kakashi now that her emotions were evening out. There was really only one solution.

"Want to get a drink?"

"Is that honestly going to make you feel better, Sakura?" Tenten's face was soft, but her eyes were probing and doubtful. Sakura didn't know what exactly her weapon loving friend was thinking, but she had a good idea about what was popping around in her bun-styled haired head. And if Tenten was thinking what Sakura suspected she was then she was probably right.

"Ugh. When did you become my therapist?"

Tenten laughed kicking her feet up before vaulting herself up off the couch. "I am your therapist every damn time we drink, girl. You got issues. I got issues. It's our patriotic duty to have fucking issues."

"I'll drink to that," Sakura smiled and wasn't surprised when Tenten rolled her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tenten doesn't get enough love and respect, but I think we can say that for every female character in Naruto.


	48. Just Like Riding a Bike

Sakura received a letter from a friend later that evening:

_I heard from a little bird about the situation recently with you and Hatake and am disappointed. You definitely should have fucked him. If you want help in that regard, I'll be happy to lend a hand or two. I know it's been a while for you, but I've heard it's like riding a bike and that one never really forgets. Going for so long without has never been an issue for me of course, but I am willing to guide my friends whenever and however they need._

_Toodles,  
Anko_

Sakura's eyebrow twitched, and when Kanpo came into her office a few minutes later he didn't want to know why his boss was muttering boobs and fishnets. She'd been having a rough time recently and, since he was a smart man, he knew better than to say anything.


	49. All Kinds of Words

"But you JUST got back!" Naruto whined over his ramen, but Sakura really wasn't paying attention.

She wanted to be alone. No, she didn't want to be alone. She wanted to hit something. Naruto would do, but honestly that would have been deeply unfair to her blond, boisterous friend. He hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, Naruto was still going on about how he couldn't believe that she had taken a mission in Suna when she just got back and added that he had wanted them to hang out with Hinata and pull a prank on Yamato. Sakura smirked as Naruto went into detail about how he and Sai had planned the whole thing out, and even Sakura had to admit that pranking Yamato was a pretty great pastime.

"As much fun as teasing Yamato is, Naruto, and you know I love messing with the captain, I'm going to Suna. I need to get out of the village. Stretch my legs some more. Shizune has got the hospital covered and Suna needs someone like me to paint their village red."

"I'm not sure that's what they wanted exactly." Hinata added warmly as Naruto's face scrunched up in the most exaggerated way.

"Why do they want their village painted red? I don't think that's very smart. Furthermore, why not get their genin to do it?" He started laughing loudly at his own dumb joke. She and Hinata shared a look and it was all Sakura could do to not pinch his cheeks.

"There's too much to dissect in that statement." Sakura said massaging her forehead as Hinata shook her head hopelessly. She had to be immune to his jokes by now, but Sakura guessed that even Hinata had her limits. "And when have you ever used the word furthermore?"

"I use all kinds of words, Sakura! All. Kinds. Of. Words." And with each word Naruto's face came closer and closer. Her eyebrow twitched. She saw Hinata in the background take a deep breath, shake her head, and turn away. Sakura felt bubbly. Turns out she would get to hit something.

"AHHHH! WHY!?" Naruto said a moment later lying on the ground holding his cheek looking appalled but unsurprised.

"You annoy me." Sakura huffed. Really he was such an idiot sometimes, but that really wasn't a fair assessment when he knew exactly what he was doing. He'd been doing it all night after all. Sakura reached down and picked him up off the ground in a single motion. "But thanks for annoying me into hitting you."

Naruto went back to his ramen grumbling about how Tsunade ruined her, but both of the women saw the smile he couldn't quite hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still not super happy how this chapter turned out, but I wanted to get an interaction with Naruto in there since it's been a while. I do so love him and he is rather fun to write about. Hope y'all were able to take some enjoyment out of this.


	50. Tactical Retreat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our girl Sakura continues to run, but this time she runs away to Suna. She'll be there for a few chapters so please don't kill me. I promise Kakashi will make an appearance soon.

"They sent you."

"Good to see you too, Shikamaru." Sakura panted coming to a stop in front the duo who greeted her. Sweat streamed down her back even with the noon sun covered by clouds. The North Gate of Sunagakure stood behind them seemingly stretching up to the blue sky. "Temari, I hope his laziness hasn't been affecting the village youth. That's a disease no medic can cure."

Shikamaru grunted but that was about all he ever did so neither kunoichi batted an eye.

"The heat has made it worse I'm afraid," the older girl whispered conspiratorially. "Gaara declared a village wide emergency. The only solution is to kill him."

"Tch. You two are a nuisance."

Sakura laughed smacking Shikamaru a little too hard in the back. He winced but said nothing else. So boring. Sooo listless.

"You love it. Anyway, I have something for you." Digging around in her bag Sakura pulled out a blue scroll. Blue scrolls meant personal correspondence and she'd had a bad feeling about it the moment shishou had given it to her, but an order was an order and Sakura had to give it to him. "It's from Tsunade-sama . With love."

Nothing. Not even an eye twitch as he opened it right then and there and read it. Her gut tightened, a feeling of unease swirling through her.

"Tsunade-sama says you're running away from Hatake-san."

The sound of the wind could be heard brushing along the sand. In the distance a scorpion scuttled across the ground from one burrow to another. If Sakura thought she was hot before that was nothing compared to now. It warmed her belly. That old, meddling woman was going to pay when she got back.

"I'm here for the mission. Definitely not running away or whatever sake induced nonsense she is going on about. I thought you'd better smarter than that, Shikamaru. How disappointing."

Shikamaru's dark eyes pierced her quietly for a moment, a moment that stretched on too long in her opinion, but he eventually shrugged his shoulders and stuffed the scroll into his pouch. "Whatever. Let's go."

By her side Temari whispered, "It's always called a tactical retreat, never running away."

Behind him Shikamaru heard the two women erupt into clamorous laughter. Tch. And to think he came here to find some peace.


	51. Effects of Nicotine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Have been super distracted lately. Will update again soon!

"You're an idiot, Haruno."

"And you're a lazy bastard." Sakura growled as best she could while chewing on a piece of nicotine gum. "I can't believe I spend my well earned money on you."

Shikamaru brow arched. "I never told you I wanted to quit or that I wanted the gum." He paused for moment and Sakura snapped at the gum. "I've been wondering if you are using me as a reason to buy it. Stressed out, Haruno? Want a cigarette?"

"NO," Sakura yelped, "but maybe…but my career, the shame - what would people say?"

"Is this about Hatake?"

Sakura swallowed her gum instead of screaming about how the hell he knew, and Shikamaru looked like the cat that ate the canary. Some kunoichi she was giving away the secrets of her mind like that. At least she didn't open her mouth and say something super incriminating; and while there was no point in beating about the bush with him now, she didn't have to admit to it aloud.

"I refuse to answer that."

"And now you're here." Shikamaru whistled. "Typical."

Sakura wanted to be mad, but much like Kanpo Shikamaru was good at stating facts without judgment coloring his words.

"I'm pretty much known for it at this point. I wonder if this could be the start of a kekkai genkai that will be passed down the generations."

"First, you know that's not how it works. Second, you'd have to have to get laid." Shikamaru pointed out and quite without her permission an image of Kakashi smiling down at her from the tree tops popped in her mind. Damn. She was screwed.

Not physically though.

Ugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakura should admit defeat already and realize that she probably is starting to like-like her ex-sensei. Of course, Sakura is not one to admit defeat that easily. Poor Kakashi.


	52. Sex Dolls and Makeup

"Sakura," Kankuro's cool voice greeted as she stepped over the threshold. The man in question didn't have his hood on and Sakura could see the sweat roll down the back of his neck. Beside him a huge lamp blazed as he peered down through a magnifying glass at a man-sized puppet.

This was something she'd expected to see of course, but Sakura was not one to be deterred by her friend's work. The mission planning had gone on for a couple of days and she was set to go out tomorrow. In the meantime, Sakura had visited Suna's hospital and poked around their facilities before coming to find him. Pulling on the man's leg was as good of a pastime as any, and she was bored.

"Working on your latest sex doll?" Sakura cooed coming to look over Kankuro's shoulder innocently. The hoodless man's shoulders dropped and he groaned into his hands muttering to himself. Nice. She still had it after all. This time in Suna was turning out nicely. "Wear the last one out pretty quickly, didn't ya?"

"I almost forgot how nice it was to have you in Suna. Finally get bored of terrorizing everyone in Konoha?"

Sakura lazily plopped down in a rolling chair across from him and smiled before leaning closer to the puppet to have a better look. His puppets creeped her out, but Sakura could readily admit they were also pretty damn cool - not that she wouldn't obliterate this one like she did tons of others over the years.

"Yep, I thought I'd terrorize you first before lunch and then Gaara after dinner. Gotta keep you sand shinobi on your toes. What's that?" Kankuro slapped her hands away.

"You wouldn't appreciate the complexity if I explained it. " Kankuro growled good-naturedly turning around in his chair to look at her. "The only thing you love to do is destroying my weapons, monster."

Sakura wiggled her fingers. "They creep me out. Hey, you don't have your makeup on!"

"I'm not on duty and it's not makeup."

"So…can I paint your face?" She asked pretending that she didn't hear him and at his blank expression continued because she was shameless. "I'll buy you your favorite chocolate syrup so you can play with your sex doll later."

"Go away."


	53. Leaving a Mark

With three rogue shinobi tied up and knocked out under a strong genjutsu behind them, Temari walked up to Sakura and looked over the landscape. They were on the edge of Wind Country where there was more rock than sand and a bit of vegetation spread out among the crevices.

"It's strange seeing a crater here now." Temari mused.

Sakura nodded thoughtfully with her hand on her chin, one arm resting on the other. "It's kind of my sign. You know how those big bingo book people leave their mark showing where they were? Craters are kind of my mark. Pretty cool, huh?"

The older woman rolled her eyes. "You're so full of bullshit, but I'm glad you're here. Taking out these guys would have been…let's just my luck hasn't run out yet, but I wouldn't want to chance it."

Sakura had taken this mission because she had wanted – needed – the action. It had been reported there was an S-class missing nin hiding out here in the wastelands of Wind who'd been causing trouble for both nations. The report had been wrong, though. He had some friends. It was…fun. Not the word for it of course, but getting to go all out on a mission was like stretching her metaphorical legs. There was also the fact that she had a lot of pent up frustration that she got to take out on some missing nins Wind and Fire had been trying to take down for a couple of months. Sakura was pretty sure she would get a pay raise too because of the number of shinobi she and Temari took down. Pretty sweet, right?

"You'd be a little worse for wear, but you could have done it. You hurt? Need a bandage?" Sakura joked lightly looking over Temari for injuries. There was a deep gash in the blonde's leg that she revealed by taking off her skirt. Damn. If Sakura had been way younger she would have flinched seeing the deep wound, but that was long past so instead she tried for her usual banter.

"Really, Temari, here? Stop coming on to me," Sakura smiled forcing her to sit down so she could begin. Sakura's hands glowed green as she started pushing her chakra into the wound, but not before she saw Temari roll her eyes and wince a bit.

"Yes, my under shorts are so tight and sexy."

"That's what Shikamaru told me on our pinot and painting night two days ago. The man can paint a pretty realistic version of Kankuro's dick. I didn't ask questions for sanity reasons." Sakura explained in the most serious voice she could muster. Of course, Temari didn't laugh. She never did at her jokes just like her shishou and Shizune.

"Now I really wish I came here alone because spending a few days in the hospital would have been better than hearing your imagination. Whatever kind of genjutsu you people those shinobi under I'm sure they don't deserve."

"You love it. People love my stories and genjutsu, Kakashi especially."

Oh. Shit.

"Kakashi, huh?"

Sakura looked down at Temari's leg and tried not to say anything more, but dammit, why did she have to say his name. She'd been doing so well not thinking about him and now it was ruined. So what if she missed him and maybe felt a little guilty about leaving him with only a note on the toilet. Clenching her teeth, Sakura looked up at her friend.

"A drink sounds really good right now."

"I second that. I want to forget the image you put into my head with that painting story." Temari shivered making a face. "Let's get these sacks of shit to Suna quickly."

"Roger that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready! Kakashi comes back in the next chapter. :)


	54. Big Girl Panties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura finally stops running and does the decent, mature thing.

Too bad she left her big girl panties in Suna along with her dignity Sakura thought as her heart began beating in her chest. A flash of silver white, light orange, and flak jacket green was all she saw before she hid behind Ms. Tanaka's fruit stand. Ms. Tanaka barely raised an eyebrow as she went on gossiping with the neighboring stall owner, an elderly man with a pretty cool mustache. Sakura idly wondered if there was a little something something going on between them even though the guy looked twenty years her senior. Nothing wrong with a little age gap if both were appropriate ages.

Wait. No more thinking about that.

Sakura rubbed her face with a groan. This was ridiculous. Why in the world had she been running? Big girl panties or not it was time to go find her friend and apologize or something for leaving him in that stupid town. Good thing she preferred going commando anyway. It was freeing just like she was about to be free of this stupid charade.

Jumping across well-known roofs Sakura honed in on her target. Per usual Kakashi had his nose stuck in a pervy book, but she knew with one hundred percent certainty that he'd sensed her. Hell, she bet he sensed her behind Ms. Tanaka's fruit stand. God, Sakura hoped he wouldn't bring it up. She'd have to make up a ridiculous lie. Luck was not on her side though since Kakashi was bastard supreme.

"Sakura," Kakashi greeted gaily as she jumped down, "how was Ms. Tanaka? Not the best place to hide, but you could have done worse I suppose."

Sakura felt her heart stop at his cheerful countenance which did little to hide the steel in his eyes. Shit. He was not pleased, and dammit she was definitely going to have to make a sincere apology. Yet, as much as she wasn't looking forward to accidently setting off any explosive triggers in the mindscape of Hatake Kakashi, it was so good seeing his face and hearing his voice. She missed the jerk. When had that even happened? Sighing Sakura supposed that every ninken had its day and she would have to own up to being a shitty friend. Good thing she was a bad ass and that's just what they did. Eventually did.

"I was busy rehearsing." Sakura hedged walking closer to him kicking up a bit of dirt. Kakashi looked disinterested, but he didn't turn away. Thank goodness for small favors. They were near the training fields but not so much of the village yet. There were few houses and business, but no one was really around at the moment to watch. That did discount Sai sneaking around the damn village trying to look for new things to gossip over, though.

"Oh," Kakashi hummed. Sakura wished she could just spit out everything like Naruto because it was getting hard to say anything with the glacial energy Kakashi was giving off.

"Yeah," Sakura replied stopping to stand in front of him. He tilted his head at her. "Look. I mean listen. First, stop looking at me like I killed your stupid potted plants and burned all your hentai books."

"Romance," Kakashi corrected dryly.

"Romance, hentai, whatever, just stop. " She took a deep breath and placed her hands on his shoulders feeling muscles tense underneath his shirt. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked gazing upward thoughtfully. What a bastard.

"Stop interrupting me, Kakashi. I'll tell you when I'm done talking." Sakura squeezed his shoulders with a tiny amount of chakra backing her up. "Sorry for leaving the note on the toilet. It should have been on your bed," and at his deadpan look pushed on, "but really for leaving you without any warning in person. That was really shitty of me. I saw you with that lady and kind of freaked out and since I was done with the fake mission I thought it best to leave."

Kakashi's hands rose to touch her own on his shoulders and his eyes changed in intensity. Sakura felt the warmth of his fingers press into her hands and butterflies erupted in her stomach. That wasn't her usual reaction. She probably ate something bad earlier and the stress of the situation was messing with her digestive juices. _Oh stop,_ she thought snidely, _you know exactly what you're feeling and isn't anything to do with your digestive tract._

"Did seeing Reiko with me bother you?"

_Ugh. A bit._

Sakura's jaw ached with how hard she was biting down. No way in hell was she going to bring Kakashi into her absurd thoughts, but he deserved to know a bit.

"Yes, but not in the way you're thinking, old man!"

Kakashi held up his hands in mock surrender, his whole body and energy coming off lighter and much more playful in an instant.

"I'm only thinking you're secretly in love with me. Don't worry, Sakura, I didn't sleep with her." 

Her heart fluttered a bit.

"OH. MY. GOD. I don't care! It was just weird." Sakura shouted back her face heating up. She didn't want to admit how happy she was that he didn't sleep with her so really focused on the next part.

"She is the sister of one of my old acquaintances and they wanted me to give her a belated birthday present. She was coming with me to the hotel because I forgot the summoning scroll the present was in there." Kakashi stopped and nodded thoughtfully. "She is a cute girl but eighteen little too young for my liking."

"GROSS!"

"Maa, maa, Sakura, don't be so hasty. Ms. Tanaka and the older gentleman next to her have a twenty year age gap between them, but they're still seeing each other." She fucking called it. "But they are older and both more experienced in life in general so don't worry. There is still time for our love to bloom."

"EVEN GROSSER! Don't sully our friendship with such lies, Kakashi."

Kakashi's laughter lingered in her memory a little too long after. In fact, Sakura remembered it for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired recently by a simple review I got and since then ideas have been spinning in my head. What would you guys think of a spin off story featuring Tenten? I love her and she doesn't get enough attention. I especially love how she is in this fic (that probabaly really presumptuous of me) since I didn't really plan her character being so much a part of Sakura's life.
> 
> She is stable, confident, and caring and is always there for Sakura. She needs happiness too, and while I was mulling over that it hit me. She'd be perfect for Gaara! I might as well go all the way with crack pairings since I'm writing crack anyway. It would feature secret identities, disguises, and miscommunication that would never get too out of hand because that's not how Tenten rolls. Anyway, that wouldn't be for a while now, but if y'all have any opinions on the matter I'd love to hear them.


	55. Tea and Tomatoes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this story YEARS ago, I never thought I'd include Sasuke because I honestly thought he was going to die at the very end of Naruto. That did not happen though so here he is!
> 
> (Instead Neji died and I haven't ever really gotten over it. ㅠㅠ)

After she apologize to Kakashi Sakura expected things to go back to normal, but then Sasuke came back earlier than usual and it seemed as if the white haired shinobi was always around. She'd usually see him a few times a week on dango days and on the weekends – that was pretty normal. They were friends and liked to hang out, but he recently was everywhere. Maybe she was losing her mind too because he seemed to be glaring (or something) at her more often, and damn her heart because it fluttered a bit every time she caught him watching her.

"Am I a suspicious person, Sasuke?" she asked amid his floor lounge pillows.

"Very." He answered from across the room, his voice punctured by the sound of a knife cutting tomatoes.

"Kakashi is, I don't know, glaring at me all the time now. Do you think he thinks I'm compromised or something? You know how suspicious that man gets. He is either suspicious or mopey, neither of which is a good look for him."

"Are you compromised?" He wondered distractedly as he chewed on a tomato slice.

"If I was I would tell you because then I'd have to kill you and where would I end up? I'm not cut out to be a missing nin. I'm too loud."

"You fill the silence." He now sipped his tea. "It's nice."

"Really?"

"At times." Sakura saw him then nod as if coming to terms with something. "There is a matter of which I would like to speak to you."

"Oh?" This was interesting. Or maybe it wouldn't be. Sasuke was quite the drama queen on the sly and his social skills were pretty atrocious. Sakura sure it was a mix of childhood trauma, obsession, and being alone for years.

"I need a partner."

"Like romantic because that ship sailed a long time ago even if people still think I'm pining. I'm not pathetic. You tried to kill me that one time too," at his look Sakura sighed. "Okay, fine, we both tried to kill each other, me more than you. Anyway, that was a long time ago."

Sasuke closed his eyes. "May I finish please?"

"You may as long as you make it interesting."

"I need a wife."

"WHAT!" In retrospect, she shouldn't have been surprised. She and Naruto had known that he wanted to revive his clan (which was a pretty awful idea – not that she would ever say anything), but with him still protecting the village from afar and other bullshit Sakura didn't expect it at this time. She was panicking, but it didn't last for long.

"I need you to help me find a wife." He corrected which was in no way better.

"What's going on?" she asked because it felt like her head was going to explode. Sasuke smirked at her strained features and relented.

"I could not resist. Sai has informed me you have yet to find him a girlfriend; therefore, it would be useless to ask you."

"I'm going to kill you and him." Sakura growled fisting the pillows underneath her.

Sasuke held up his hand to stop her from standing. "You don't appreciate my jokes, I see. Nevertheless, there is a serious matter I'd like to discuss. I need a partner to go with me to Crow."

He handed her a scroll. "These are the details. Read them and then we can speak more."

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"I'm enjoying my tea." Sakura huffed, stuffing the scroll into her shirt. Her heart was still slowing down from the previous conversation, and suddenly Sakura was glad Sasuke didn't know that he was more likely to kill her via joke induced heart attack than anything else. She wanted to smash his stupid tea cup into his face.

"You're an insufferable bastard."

"Hn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't rant too much, but I hated the fact that Sakura and Sasuke ended up together. It made no damn sense.


	56. The Adult Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone for a bit. I had a good number of chapters done or nearly done, but then the computer I was saving them on at work died so those chapters are gone. I was a tiny bit depressed about this and got into reading a lot of Brienne/Jamie (GOT) fan fiction for a bit. Anyway, here is this chapter. No Kakashi sadly. I will try to post once more before traveling, but I can't promise. Moving from country to country and traveling on top of that leaves me with little time on my hands and a bit of stress.
> 
> (And to answer your questions, yes I did indeed slack off at work by writing fan fiction. Hahaha!)

"Sakura, you need to focus." Kurenai breathed calmly beside her in a perfect lotus position. "Honestly, we've only just started."

To be fair, Sakura wasn't one for yoga. She enjoyed pilates and as far as meditation went sitting in a dark room was the best, but Kurenai was her only adult friend and she needed advice. 

"I'll just lie here, okay. I'll watch you and through osmosis zen out."

The older woman sighed and rubbed her eyes before laying down beside her. "I thought you could meditate and find the answer for yourself, but I give up. You're killing the mood." Sakura saw her softly smirk. "You're not as bad as Mirai is, thankfully."

"You're my only real adult friend," Sakura repeated what was in her head. 

"Why not ask Kakashi?"

"That's...it's different." Kurenai didn't push. "And again - adult. Kakashi I'm pretty sure hires someone to grocery shop for him." That wasn't quite true since it happened only once, but trying to explain more left her throat feeling dry. "Sasuke asked me to go on an extended mission with him."

Kurenai's eyes seemed to glow in almost unfriendly fashion for a moment before settling. "Oh? Would you be able to leave the hospital."

"Short answer, yes. Long answer I'd make everyone lives hell for a bit, but since they love me they'd get over it. It would mostly be working out logistics and Shizune would have extra workload for a bit."

"Sounds like you have everything settled."

"Is it the right choice?"

"Sakura, you're the only one who can answer that. You've been saying you want to travel for a while."

"I was thinking more along the lines of getting massively drunk in every big city across the continent and taking pictures of myself in precarious situations type of travel."

"You do that here too, and I wish you didn't since Mirai thinks it hilarious. I also don't appreciate you telling her about drinking."

"Damn that was a while ago. I can't believe she told you."

"She doesn't like keeping secrets from her dear old mom. As for traveling with Sasuke, is that the best idea. You're not going to fall in love with him? Or lust?"

"NO! I'd rather kiss a cactus. It'd be more exciting that Sasuke cold fish Uchiha. Boy smells like fire and tomatoes. It's vaguely off putting." 

"I'm not sure prolonged exposure to him is the best option then. Why do you want to go?"

"It's nice to be needed?" Sakura hedged.

"Try again."

"Damn. Thought that would have been enough."

"You says always say you rather not be needed. So what's the issue?"

Sakura lips tightened.

"Ah. What are you running from?"

"Tactical retreat." Kureani didn't look amused. "Ok. Ok. Ok. I'm starting to have....feelings. I think? Well, actually, I don't think. I know, but I'm very confused. It's all very confusing. Someone was one thing and now I'm looking at them as another. I don't even know how I feel about how I'm feeling too." Kurenai was never one to push, but she had an uncanny ability of just knowing things. Shikamaru called it being a mom, Sakura called it plain scary, and in this moment she had a feeling that the older woman knew exactly whom she was talking about.

"Running away won't help. Seeing a therapist would." 

"You are my therapist."

"You're cute," Kurenai's smile turned sharp, "but not on your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any grammar mistakes!


End file.
